we've all heard the phrase, "Don't show it when you're struggling" at work. Many of us put on a mask when we take this advice, especially high performers, who often put up a front to avoid disappointing those around them. In psychology, this condition is known as High-Functioning Anxiety, a condition in which an A+ performance on the outside can lead to an F mentality on the inside. people with high-functioning anxiety look perfect on the outside, but on the inside, they're always on edge and have trouble coping with work stress.

what is high-functioning anxiety? Symptoms and risks

one of the most common symptoms of high-functioning anxiety is that even when you're praised for doing a good job, you still feel anxious, wondering, "What if I mess up next time?" You may also constantly put pressure on yourself with perfectionism and excessive responsibility. Keeping this anxiety bottled up can eventually lead to burnout. when one person breaks down, their coworkers take on more pressure, which affects the performance of the entire team, creating a vicious cycle of individual and team burnout.

what is the cycle of vulnerability?

so how can you break the cycle? it starts with not leaving mental management to the individual. Harvard organizational behavior expert Jeff Folger says that true team trust is built when team members open up about their weaknesses. He proposes the vulnerability loop as a solution: a cycle in which one person shows vulnerability and the other responds in kind, building trust through shared vulnerability. for example, imagine a leader asking for help with something they don't know, and a team member responding, "Let's figure it out together." The accumulation of these moments of leadership vulnerability creates a sense of safety for the team.

the leader-initiated vulnerability loop

so who should start the circle of vulnerability? it's usually the team leader. we often think that leaders are supposed to be perfect all the time, but leaders who are honest about their mistakes and struggles are more humanized and trustworthy. for example, if a leader only talks about their weaknesses, like "I'm struggling with my skills lately," it makes team members feel insecure, and if they pretend to be perfect, like "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything," it's hard to gain true trust. So leaders need to acknowledge their shortcomings and show that they're working to overcome them. saying something like, "I'm not experienced in this area, so I'm studying the material, and I'd love to borrow your ideas for things I can't figure out on my own." This makes your vulnerability look like responsible courage, not incompetence. And when you ask for help and show sincere gratitude, your team members will open up and realize, "It's okay to be honest with me now."

psychological safety and the secret to strong teams

a strong team is not a team without weaknesses, but a team that doesn't have to hide them. in fact, research by Harvard professor Amy Edmonson and Google has identified a team's sense of psychological safety as a key factor in performance. when people feel safe enough to make mistakes and speak up freely, problems are found and solved quickly, and innovative ideas flourish. Conversely, in cultures where people hide their insecurities, problems grow and collaboration diminishes. The key to building team trust is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable speaking up. Teams with this sense of psychological safety are less likely to crumble in the face of challenges, and members can focus their energy on collaboration and growth instead of anxiety. not surprisingly, it also helps prevent burnout.

how to overcome high-functioning anxiety

finally, how do you overcome high-functioning anxiety? first, you need to have the courage to admit that you're struggling, rather than asking yourself, "Why am I the only one who's anxious?" and practice confiding in a trusted coworker or senior colleague. you might find it reassuring to realize, "I'm not the only one." even at work, say you don't know what you don't know, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. It's hard at first, but taking that first step is the beginning of opening the circle of vulnerability. additionally, stick to a mental care routine like regular exercise, hobbies, and getting enough sleep. if your company offers programs or coaching to help high performers manage their mental health, it's even better if it's part of your company's mental health program.

bottom line

if you're an A+ performer but an F mentally, it's time to drop the mask and create a circle of vulnerability. why not get your team to take off their masks and grow together?

Q1: Who does high-functioning anxiety affect?
A1: High-functioning anxiety manifests itself in people who appear to be highly functional and fine on the outside, but are anxious and stressed on the inside. it's often seen in high-performing workers and managers who hide their anxiety from the rest of the workplace. It's easy to misunderstand that you're always on edge, but everyone around you thinks you're fine because you're doing so well.

Q2: How can I overcome high-functioning anxiety?
A2: The most important thing is to not go it alone and reach out for help. Talk to a trusted colleague, no matter how small, and ask for advice. don't be afraid to do this - creating a circle of vulnerability will actually deepen your trust in each other. Also, practice self-care that reduces stress, like regular exercise, hobbies, and getting enough sleep. if you need to, consider seeking help from your company's counseling program or a professional.

Q3: Are team members more likely to follow a leader if they show their vulnerability?
A3: Yes, honest vulnerability from leaders increases team trust. when team members see that you're human, they're more likely to open up and follow you. However, it's important that when you share vulnerability, you also show commitment and accountability to fixing the problem. Your honesty creates a sense of psychological safety, which leads to an atmosphere where team members feel free to speak up without being judged.